Good bye

It's definitely time to shed my skins.
I'm leaving this chapter and starting off a fresh new one.
Turning over a new leaf.

Thank you for your hospitality all along.
I had my big share of fun with this.
It is now time to grow up and wander to another world!

This is me - pressing my life reset button.
It's time.

Good bye.

It isn't me.

The blog. This blog. Doesn't feel like me. Doesn't look like me.
But then again - maybe I just don't feel like myself.
Maybe it is not the blog. Maybe it is me.

I'm shedding my skin. I feel myself changing. I know I am changing.
I just don't know what am I becoming - which is very unsettling.
Is it for the better? Am I turning bad?

Odd... Out of place.
I want to disappear.

Melancholy

I feel odd.

Here - but not here.
Swimming - but not in the water.
Eating - but not tasting.

What's happening?

I'm observing my surrounding with curiosity.
I'm wondering what I love and what I hate with uncertainty.

Feeling a bit of the melancholia.
Feeling out of place - out of this world.

I feel odd.

Minimalism

I've been attracted to this for a while.

The feeling after a good decluttering session.
The feeling when you're living of just a box of luggage full of USEFUL things when you're on a long holiday.
The feeling that I get from having a clear idea as to where everything is at in the house.
These feelings are very difficult to beat.

I spent about 3 hours cleaning up my big pile of official paperworks yesterday.
Down to only the necessities now and feels very light.

The goal is to work it down to the minimum. :)
Only retain things that are necessary and useful - not clutters.
I've noticed that it is definitely much easier to appreciate and use all that I have when we're down to the minimum.

Intrinsic vs Extrinsic Goals

I read somewhere today that it is much better to work on intrinsic (inwardly) goals than on extrinsic goals, e.g. wealth, power and social acceptance. It makes me realise that I've been working on extrinsic goals all this time. It has come the time for me to work out what my Intrinsic Goals are.

I need to do this quick. So that I can then focus on working on my intrinsic goals...

Photojojo Mania

I stumbled upon the Photojojo Store and they have some super cute items...


Fotoclips


The Super-Secret Spy Lens!


Magnetic Photo Rope


The Doodle Frame

This would probably make a really nice birthday idea *hint hint* :P

September...

I've always liked September.

It's the start of Spring time in Melbourne; hence the great weather.
People starts heading out.
Plus, it's the month of my birthday celebration. ;)

This year, it has been and will be an even more exciting time.

I'm moving on from my current job.
I've just moved in to our first owned home (with Shanon) - nesting heavily and loving it.
I'm feeling healthier than a month ago - though I still need to work on my food intake a bit more.
I'm discovering that life is really what you make of it.
So I'm going to make the most of it! ;)

I really like the following Zen Habits' posts:
- Work as Play
- The Minimalist Principle: Omit Needless Things

Loving September!

Surprise!

Today - I came home to a lovely surprise!
-- Image taken from ai-junkie: Programming Game AI by Example.

No excuse now. Have to get it started and keep it going. ^.^
Currently reading the first chapter - refresher on Mathematics - really good. Reminds me of how interesting math is and how much fun learning can be. :)

.Mino loves Boris.

I'm on Top of the World!

At yoga today, I have just come into this really really big realisation that I was very scared of losing that I keep having to remind myself throughout the whole class. It's priceless. Seriously!

I am such a whinger. Whinge and don't act. I will change that.

I am extremely lucky and everything around me is great, if not amazing. I have an awesome husband who I love so so so very much, and love me back just as much (maybe a tiny weeny bit less - cause I love more! :P). I have an extraordinary family; kewl, fun, weird at times but just lovely. Plus, the friends and people that I have around me are just super great.

Yep yep - I know none of this is new realisation. I've said this before.
Then, what's new?

Well - today, I realise that... I'm great. Actually, scratch that, I'm AWESOME. Ha-ha. Yes. That's why my life is awesome!

But you know what - I'm going to make it even better. How?
By actively choosing what I want to do and skip those that holds no value for me.
No regrets. Life is too short for regrets.
I'm 26 turning 27. A full grown up with no financial issue or health issue or mental issue (or so I think :P).

The realisation brings me to think that - hey! I can do anything if I do want to do it enough. Why? Becoz - I am one very capable person with substantial intelligence. Better than average! (at least I think so :P) So you know what I'll do next? I will put my focus into learning and doing things related to AI. Why? Cause I can. Cause it's cool and interesting. Cause I can choose to do things that are cool and interesting! :P

Good nite!

Check out Google Wave Preview.

Taking Chances...

Be Brave.
Living The Best Life.
No Regrets.
Stop contemplating.
Just act on it.

The best tool in the world is not going to help anything or anyone if no one uses it.

Wikipedia: Artificial Intelligence

Check out - Google Wave Preview!

Realisation

In general, when I rate myself or how I do things - I compare up. I aim to be better. I wonder why I'm not as good as "X" or "Y". That's the weirdly miniscule competitive side of me. I don't go crazy over trying to win something - but when I do compare - I definitely look up. Some people look down. They look at others who do worse than them and think that they're good for not doing as bad as the others. Which is fine, I suppose. But not as good, I think. I mean - they'll be less likely to improve. Maybe it's just a preference thing.

But - this whole new curly hair thing has definitely taught me something new.

I have to be very careful when I look up or compare up. Who am I comparing myself with? Is this someone that is directly above me or diagonally above me? *LOL* I'll probably lose you soon. It's a bit tricky to explain - or maybe it's just my crazy brain. But, for example, as a straight hair lady who just had her hair permed - I should not go about comparing my hair with a naturally curly hair lady. She has been dealing with her hair since she was a teenager. Just like how well I know my hair and how best to style it. Obviously, her hair will look better.

I'm struggling with this new hairstyle. I should have just stick with my nicely straight hair and learn to curl it with that straightening iron thing (if you're confused - don't be - the new way to curl your hair is with straightening iron, it comes out prettier than with curling iron :P)!!

Anyway - lesson learnt! Next time, I should work and do my best with what I've got before starting at level 0 with something new. I was already at level 60 or 70 with styling my straight hair! Now I have to start at level 0 again! Hmphhh!!!

My New Hair Style

My Hair Before:

Aim: If lucky, or or

My Hair Now:

Hmmm....? *bingung*

The Importance of Treating Yourself Well

After focusing very hard for about a year to lose weight - I find myself slowly gaining it back.
Thankfully - not yet all - but a few days ago I reached an "Oh No" moment.
I've nearly gained back half of the weight I've lost. ARGH!

So - before all my effort goes to waste - I decided to do something about it. AGAIN!
But - this time - I know that I'll do better. Why?
Because I have done this before. I know the drill.
I also know that there are some flaws from what I used to do.
I will have to fix it and keep refining the process.

Since that "Oh No" moment - I've controlled my eating again.
I haven't been as strict as I was - but I'm slowly curbing it.
The idea is doing it slowly so that instead of feeling deprived - I ease myself into the process and make sure this time - I'm going to be altering my eating habit PERMANENTLY.
Not as a temporary diet thing (which causes the weight gain afterwards).

Starting with breakfast. Instead of limiting myself to one choice - I organized a few options with similar amount of calories.
Why? Because different situations calls for different type of food. I also get easily bored with one option. Plus, constraints often calls for big slip ups. I've got Up&Go, Oats, Ultra Slim Milk, and Soy Yogurt lined up. :)

Next, hydration. Water. It's VERY VERY VERY VERY important. It helps with my "regularity" and also kept me from over-eating (eating when I'm thirsty). So I make sure that I fill my 750ml bottle of water as soon as I get to work. Keep drinking it.

On to lunch - as with brekkie - I've lined up a few options. Canned soup with some crackers, Bowl of mixed salad, 2 Sushi rolls, Subway Tuna Sub and this Chicken Avocado Sundried Tomato Tortilla Wrap thing. Yum! I'll probably leave Friday as open planned.

Bought some snack options too - < 100 calorie muesli bar, apples, soy yogurt and ryvita.

Dinner is a bit tricky to restrict - at the end of the day I like to have an enjoyable meal and it also depend on my mood... But - I'll work on cooking at home more. Much healthier and controllable. :)

Will also put more effort in continuing my 3x Yoga a week.

It's funny. I do feel like how come I can't just let go and enjoy.. but the truth is - when I just let go - I don't actually enjoy... Little treats, eating out, muffin breakfast, brunches, are only enjoyable when it's occasional. Not routine. :)
It's true. I'm not making it up. Because since I watch myself more the past few days - I feel so much better. Seriously. I feel in control. I feel great. I deserve to feel great cause I'm doing great.

Good Nite!

Job Satisfaction Can Reduce Excessive Spending, Debt

Job Satisfaction Can Reduce Excessive Spending, Debt

It is true.

It's very difficult to control yourself and be discipline when you're not happy 8 hours a day (or more some days). I have to do something. Soon. Very soon.

I can't keep going on with my stress eating, stress buying, and wait for weekends to arrive. My stress eating makes me happy cause I'm putting on weight. Every time I decide to stop over-eating, I go back to work and all that decision goes to bin. I just got back from a holiday and am already thinking of taking off days. That's just not the way it's supposed to be.

I want my happiness back!

Quarter Life Reset Button

Looking at how I spend my time, some of the things that I do or feel out of habit are pretty silly. But I guess it is how it is. I mean if I think of myself as a program, it's only normal that after almost 27 years of continuously running I am quite lacking in efficiency - which is the issue here. I've got too many little useless background tasks that needs trimming or even idle processes (or zombies).

So - I'm pressing the RESET button! I'm so excited!

I've noticed lately that I'm at the happiest when I'm doing things, when I'm busy, when I've got deadline to meet. Basically when I feel productive. I love it! I don't have time to think about useless dragging my self down thoughts. Hmm.. I probably should fix my head and learn to stop those dragging-me-down thoughts. But at the same time, just doing things work too. Surely it's more difficult to get those dragging-me-down thoughts when I have achieve some sense of accomplishment.

Lately I've been lacking that sense of accomplishment. Time to make it happen.

I've got a few things I can do and want to do.

Step 1: De-cluttering. Sort out my priorities. Throw out old useless / meaningless routines that are mere habits. Use the time to do things that have meaning or useful for me!.

I shall put my focus and attention on spending what little time I have on things that I "enjoy doing" or "need to do". For example:
* I need to control my eating habit - for health and cause I care about how I feel and look.
* I need to do and enjoy doing yoga - cause it keeps me sane and happy.
* I need to work - for money.
* I need to find something that I enjoy to do for work - so my days become better.
* I enjoy taking photos.
* I need to find a home with my hubby - and this will also attribute to my contentment level.
* I need to cook at home more - because this helps me appreciate the eating out more and helps my eating habit in check. Plus, I enjoy it too.
* I enjoy eating out and love catching up with friends n my siblings, I can join these two together :)
* I love getting massages - so I've decided that this will be my splurge / indulgence from now on.
* etc etc ...

I am going to stop doing the habitual should dos that are basically just time sink. I mean, come to think of it, I now only look at my money thing about 1-2 times a week. It's pretty great considering I used to spend half an hour everyday on it (what a waste of time).

Step 2: The other thing that I've noticed is the important of "positive thoughts". I have the tendency to think that the "glass half empty". It's not all that bad except that this pessimism doesn't go very well with my insecurity issue. It creates this big loop full of jumps from pessimism to insecurity to pessimism to insecurity (am I making sense?). Oh well - anyway - I find that when I'm happy, I'm more likely to be productive which leads to sense of accomplishment, which then makes me happy and makes me want to do even more things. So - time to think happy thoughts. After all, I have such great life. Full of amazing and loving people. Full of opportunity. Great things. Nothing really to put me down. ^.^

Step 3: Stop procrastinating! Just do. I'm shedding my piles. For the next month, I'll do whatever I have in my pile. I'm putting deadline to all those books and papers. They need to be done by 5th June or they're gone from the pile. I'm doing it. If I actually care and want to do them, they'll be done by then. Doing it! Doing it! Doing it!

Whoa! I feel like a train with full steam ahead but can't go anywhere cause I'm still chain to my desk. :P LOL - but it's OK - I'll use this steam to clean up my work to do list. I'm doing it.

Darling, GAMBATTE with the Lit. Review! Love you so much!

Splurges vs Habits

Last week I talk about how to keep enjoying indulgences. Found this article on The Simple Dollar that's definitely relevant and worth reading.

The Simple Dollar » Splurges, Habits, and Projection

In short,

"A splurge is healthy every once in a while. It’s an irregular expense - not one that you spend money on every day or even every week. It also fills you with joy when you do it - and you still feel happy about it a day later. In short, you derive quality of life from that purchase.

A habit is never healthy. When an experience (particularly one tied to spending) becomes routine and normal, it should either fulfill a basic need in a simple way or it should be reconsidered.

...

The difficulty for many people is that splurges become habits without the person realizing it.

I like!

Problem Solving

Issue: "I start or want to do all sorts of tasks / things / projects but don't finish them!"
Priority: HIGH
Life Impact: Major

OK - I'm sick of this. I have a big pile of things sitting on my desk at home waiting for me to do it. I have a long list of to-do things in my mobile always waiting for me to action on. I have a few emails in my mailbox waiting to be replied to. I have a very pretty and constantly growing Excel spreadsheet at work consisting of things I need / would like to do.

Bleh!!!! Nooooooo!!!

Action: "Stop Procrastinating! Just DO!"

Indulgence

Roughly 10 months ago I made a decision to do something about my weight issue. I begin to control my food intake and consciously doing activities that will burn more energy. It's definitely a very steep learning curve for me and I'm still struggling.

Lately, I noticed that I've slowly slipped back to my old habit of being controlled by my taste buds instead of my brain. I eat and eat and eat even though I don't need it or know that I shouldn't. Thankfully the knowledge that I gained throughout the learning process isn't all wasted. I now have a voice in the back of my mind that reminds me the cost of over eating and the hard work I've put in to get where I am now. Hmm.. But I probably have to say, the voice is not loud enough to stop me from indulging every now and then (a bit too often lately). :P

Not to worry though cause I've just been introduced to the destroyer of indulgence; i.e. overindulgence.

I've been grabbing brekky on my way to work almost daily the past month or so. Muffins, Bircher Muesli, Fruit Toasts, Raisin Toasts. Plus a cup of skinny latte. Yummm...

But last Friday, I gobble down the muffin and feels unsatisfied. The muffin just wasn't rich enough anymore. It no longer feels like an indulgence. D*mn! Sigh... The very thing that ruins the taste and memory of muffins or raisin toast or a delightful brunch is having them daily.

I'm going back to basic. Loaf of bread with jam for brekky. Something standard. Something plain. So that when I go out for brunch on Saturday; they feel luxurious, divine and scrumptious..

Monday Life Lesson: "Nothing destroy an indulgence as fast as overindulgence."

100% Effort, Coffee, and Beluga Whale

I don't normally run after tram/train. I am not a runner. It annoys me too much to miss the tram/train when I've put the effort into trying to catch it. Plus, there is the embarrassment of having the tram/train door closed on me; so I choose not to try. It's a choice I've made and have been comfortable with.

But today, I was left home a little late for the 10 a.m. Bikram Yoga class. Somewhere along Chapel St; I saw the tram coming my direction; I was half relieved and half annoyed. I was 3 blocks away from the next tram stop and the tram was a block behind me. Grr...!!!!

Somehow, I decide to do something different! I run... sprint like crazy to race the train/tram... and I caught the tram!!! Yayyyyyyyyyyyy! :) It feels EXTREMELY good to put in the effort and get the result - which brings me to think that I should perhaps revisit my original choice. Think about all the time I could save by just trying to catch the train/tram and caught it; even if I do miss and get embarrass sometime (as long as I don't trip!).

Next topic - coffee. I wasn't a coffee drinker. Somewhere along the way - I've become addicted to the foamy skinny latte in a takeaway Styrofoam cup from cafe. It's against my money principles though. It's crazy to spend about $3 every day for a cup of skinny latte. That means in a month I've thrown away $90!!! I could go and get 1.5 hour massage. Grrrr... I'm annoyed! But at the same time, I am starting to enjoy the taste of it. Combined with muffin or friand. Yumm... definitely makes my mornings better. Is it worth the expense though? Is it comparable to 1.5 hour massage monthly? For now, I think it is... :P

Hmm.. I stumbled upon this web page; The world's amazing animals | NEWS.com.au and it reminds me of the Beluga Whale that I intended to see during my recent New York trip. Sadly, I found out that Marina, the Beluga Whale in Coney Island had died in late 2007 (news).
(Picture taken from China Picture Moment : Beluga Whale Kiss.)
(Picture taken from THE BELUGA WHALE.)
Aren't they super cute? I want to see the real thing before they extinct...

Monday Reminder: Be Conscious of YOUR Life Values...

Jonathan Mead contributed a great reminder post at ZenHabits yesterday, "How to Become a Late Riser | Zen Habits". The title definitely intrigues me. It isn't something that I'd normally expect to find in a Personal Development website. But then again - ZenHabits isn't just a normal Personal Development site. It's one of the better ones! :)

The reminder?

"Do NOT live by someone else's values!" (More about it at "Are You Trying to Live Up to Other People’s Values?").

I'm sure we've all done this mistake at some point in life. Well, I'm definitely prone to this. It's easy to get carried away and excited by someone else's success stories and think that we want the same thing.

I will start practising the tips from the post on to my gigantic things-to-achieve-list, "Set my goals consciously."