Thursday, March 08, 2007

Who knows what's best for me?

Cause I don't...

I thought by now I would already know what I am planning to do with my life...
I thought by now I would already know where I want to be...

But - nope!

Can someone tell me what my future is going to be like?
Where I'll be a year from now?
Two years from now?
Ten years from now?

Should I listen to my parents'/siblings'/relatives' advice?
Should I listen to my friends' advice?
Or perhaps advice from that special someone?
Tell me - Who knows the answer to all my questions?
Maybe I need to go see a therapist... :P

Which one of those advices will make me regret my decisions most sometimes later in the future?
How does one ever know if they're doing the right thing?

Do I know what I'm doing?

I've forgiven myself once - or at least I think I have - maybe I haven't...
Anyway, it took A LOT OF EFFORTS and TIME...
Can I really forgive myself again?
Do I even deserve to be forgiven?

Thursday, March 8, 2007 -- The Daily Motivator

The power of forgiveness
Inflicting pain on someone else cannot do anything to ease your own pain. When you have been hurt, there is nothing to be gained by passing the hurt on to another.

When others have caused you pain, give forgiveness. Sincere forgiveness is the fastest way to begin moving positively forward again.

Forgiveness does not mean that you agree with or condone whatever has been done. It means that you no longer choose to let those past actions hold you back.

Your willingness to forgive does not mean that you are willing to be hurt again. In fact, forgiveness frees you to take positive steps that will make you stronger and much less vulnerable.

When you feel the desire for revenge, stop and remind yourself that there is a much more powerful response. Forgiveness is the way to put yourself in the best possible position.

Can you find the strength to forgive? Forgive, and you will surely grow stronger.

-- Ralph Marston

I figure out something recently...
There are some things in life that we, as human beings, should never sacrifice.
Or maybe I should say - there are some things that I think should be classified into the non-sacrifice-able things; if only to justify my actions...
But are they really non-sacrifice-able to everyone?

What's the most important thing in the world?
Is it your other half? Your family? Your friends? Yourself? Your work? Getting all the fun in the world? Your financial state?

I feel so lost ...
... lost in the world of unanswered questions.


PerfumeLover said...
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Anonymous said...
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li'l cookie said...

ga usa di pikirin shel, nyebrang ga nengok kanan kiri, jalan2 ga pake beha, mati matilah...

Zen Sugiarto said...
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Zen Sugiarto said...

Hey shel, how's it goin? Still feeling lost? I just got back to melb, 2nd day work here..

I felt this way before once, feeling lost. Don't know why, I just feel that way... it was mid last year, nearing august. I have everything that should make me happy (house, car, job, gf, no PR yet, but hey I'm not deported back to indo) but still I am not satisfied with my life. Not in a greedy way, but in a miserable way, like my life is all wrong. Something's wrong with the way I do things, but I'm not sure what. I just know that from looking from a birds eye view, I'm not going in the right direction.

Then I ask those question. What should I do? What should I aim for? What is right in this life? Whose advise should I seek? My parents? My gf?

I try to consult with my parents and gf at this point. And i'm like going nowhere... it was fucking depressing I tell you.

Then I think hard about this problem, what's it like? (naturally as a programmer I try to redefine the problem and methodically dissect it when I'm stuck with something). Finally, I realized that (from my point of view) this problem is kinda like me fighting someone on a rocky boat with my eyes covered with a blindfold. If I can't see my enemy, how can I hit him? MEanwhile, I'm having a hard enough time just standing on a rocky boat! I realize that I first need to stand on a firm ground

So I try to move in that direction, first taking full control of the things in my life. Took me... 6-8 months? As I am progressing along, financially I am not moving forward, but there is now less and less pressure because everything now takes its own rythm. Like, I know roughly what I will do from monday to sunday, I have a routine now... and I know that if I just stick to that routine, 70% of my life problem will be taken care of.

From then on, things gets clearer, because I dont have to think about all those issue now. I dont have to worry about bills, my work, etc. I just follow the routine. Also, having a regular routine means I know roughly how much free time I have each week, when and where are those 'free slots'. During these times I can think about more serious problem, like issues in my relationships, my brother, my parents, my career all this crap. I think at this point I am starting to gain firm footings, I still feel a bit lost but I'm not depressed anymore.

I think in sun tzu, there's a line that says: "The superior general first makes his base inpenetrable before aiming to conquer the land". So you just can't move forward before you are firm and stable yourself. Because even though you might be financially ready, you might not mentally be.

So nearing end of january, I can start to really see the questions I want to ask. And most importantly, I'm not that depressed anymore. I think 'alert' summarizes my state of mind at that time.

What sort of skill should I invest in life? what kind of person do I need to be? Should I focus on my career or start a new venture on my own? Should I be like jeff and start to delve into the business field quickly? Should I borrow money from the bank or save money for my first capital? Should I go back to indo and help my parents?

there's quite a lot to think.

Then I went back to indo for my long break. And here I learn something new again (i'm still working on this now). sometimes, it's easier to work your way back... what do u want to be like when ur 60? me, I want to be in melbourne enjoying life. I want to have a house, and I want to be financially free at this point. This means by around 35-40 I need to have a business system ready, in place, and running (generating money). This also means that, I need to start building it from around 25-30. This means most likely I will be working until mid next year.

From here I can also work out what sort of person I need to be. What sort of skill I need.

Then I ask opinions from my dad, because he is the wisest guy I know. And then my mom, coz she's smart (and cunning?). And then a few of my very close friends. And then weights their opinion against my own toughts. I think this is.. "Reject what is useless, take what is useful and add what is essentially your own!" (Bruce lee's Tao Of Jeet Kune Do.. wata!!) So it's not really who is right, or who to trust. You need to have your own way first, and then see what ppl say about it. Then you mold and adapt to the one that you are most happy and comfy with. And just take it slowly from there. At least for me it works like that.

Also, you don't just take ANYONE's opinion in. If I'm changing my hair style, I don't care about what my friends and colleague says about it. but if my gf says it's funny, then it must be funny. Because I trust her judgement when it comes to hairstyle, looks, all this stuff. Opinion matters when it comes from someone you trust. In your current problem, who do you trust?

I think I've typed enuff, (it's bloody long). I hope I can be of some help by sharing my opinion on this matter. Right now I know where I want to go, and I'm still working on HOW to get there. I hope you find your answers soon!

piyo-chan said...

Pi, the comment is so you... :) thanks for that :) u've really helped me a lot with this big decision i've made..
i have always wished that i can think more like that... and now i think i have changed - quite a lot.. in terms of thinking the way u suggested.. :)
i've been enjoying my days and tryin to do things that i want to do mostly; not only the ones i "should" do.. while convincing myself that my excuse being "i only live once" is valid :)

Zen, i really appreciate ur super-LONG comment :)) ur advice with finding out what i want n then get people opinions on it really help...
although everytime someone said something against my way i get overly confused and re-think the whole thing again :P hehehe
i'm just way too indecisive... but i'm working on it too.. :) now i'll just try to take it slow... do one thing at a time... sort out my priorities and finding ways to get them done :)

thanks guys! :)))