"Blood Diamonds" After Thoughts

There's lots of after thoughts from watching "Blood Diamond" Blu-Ray disc last night on our new and shiny LCD screen.

It's already quite difficult to see the actual purpose of my job in this world (aside from providing me with good income). The past year or so, I've been my head been going in this cycle a few time. It's such a conundrum (hihi - the first time I use this word, so I hope I'm using it right). The constant fight between working for money or working for something that I believe in.

Hmm... I must be pretty selfish and narcisstic. I mean - after I watch a movie as eye opening and provoking? (not too sure if this is the right use of word here) as Blood Diamond - all I can think about is my life and my job. But I gotta admit - it was circling in my head throughout the movie last night (with other thoughts). People are dying; shooting at each other; fighting over things; rebuilding the community in Africa (and I'm sure lots of other places) and what am I doing? Every work day, I get up, go to work, have my coffee, then send emails, click on a few things, try to say the right things while browsing websites all day long.

Don't get me wrong... there are parts that I like from my work. I love helping people out. I've always loved doing that. I also enjoy problem solving. But I don't think I get to do those things enough. And when I do, I'm not certain on whether I'm helping the right people or even in the right way. It kinda feels that I can utilise my time and effort to do something else that will help fix the world better.

This morning, I did try and think about how I would go about in fixing the diamond war issue. I mean, if we can't identify the conflict-free diamonds, how do you stop people from buying them? Then, they are already taking the right steps; I mean the "Kimberly Process" must definitely reduce the violence number significantly. I guess it is a little too big for my plate. So I thought I should try and fix things one step at a time. At the moment - my work life is something that can definitely be much further improved. I mean - look at the main cast that in the "Blood Diamonds" movie. They are people who risk their life to do what they do; and even then they still feel they are not doing enough. I want to be able to say the same thing about what I do everyday.

Here's the big thing - life is only once. Shouldn't I be utilising this time and health that I have to the max? There is this part of me that thinks that I could do better things than just working for money. I can help people in a much grander way than just providing them with access to their business reports. Heck, I actually want to do better things. But, am I willing to sacrifice my comfort living to do anything about this?

If you're in the corporation world, have you ever feel the same way? What to do?

Sigh...