Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Felicity (the tv series) - my lesson

Past couple days, ok.. maybe at least two weeks now, have been 'Felicity' time for me. Felicity is this really really great TV series that was popular back in the year 2000 or maybe even before that. There is this really great site that covers everything bout this series, felicity page. I've been watching it for a while now. Lia recommended this series to me a while back, and I've been watching its four season bit by bit, which is good cause it allows the character to grow on me.

Since I've spent so much time on it (four season of ~22 one-hour-episodes, i.e. freaking 88 hours!!!) - I'm determined to get something out of it. You know how they say watching TV series is such a total waste of time. OK, not they, I'm one of the people who say so, but then hey, I think you could actually learn from it.
For example, after finish watching One Litre of Tears, I definitely appreciate what I have, my health, my body, more. Albeit it might not last long, but there is an effect, and of course I don't want to see someone suffer to learn that lesson. On top of appreciating what I have, I also learn and realise how painful it is for Aya (the girl who suffered the spinocerebellar atrophy disease). It really makes me feel like I should volunteer and help, whenever I can. I really should and I would. I really want to do something bout it.

Now, Felicity... I've learnt so much from her, her relationship with Ben and Noel, Elena, Elena and Tracy, Javier, and basically the whole crew(even Meghan and Sean). Nearly every episode inspires me. I could really relate to how she feels, cause I've been there, and there are times where I feel like I'm still there, even though I shouldn't still feel that lost.

The one thing that I really admire though, is the way she react to things/events. She's very calm. She's a total opposite of me, even if I'd like to say the other way around, but she is. No matter how big a thing happens to her, she could somehow remain calm and think before she says something. I'm such an idiot sometimes. A very impatient idiot. I tend to express what I feel. I tend to say what I think. I can't even count how many times this behaviour of mine cause me problems.

When I look at her, I feel embarrassed by how immature I am. I feel like I should learn to be a bit more patient, and thoughtful. Yes, thoughtful.

I used to think I'm a thoughtful friend. Until one time, where I've made this HUGE mistake of betraying my friend. A very valuable friend too. Since then, I think less of myself. Seriously. Much less. That was the one quality that I feel that I can rely on. But after that, I'm not so sure anymore of myself. Since then though, I've learnt to live with it. I mean, there's nothing that I could do to take that back, and not that I wouldn't if there is, or maybe I wouldn't. I don't know. I'm lucky though to have people around me, who loves me no matter what, and have been really kind to me, whom have made me realise that I can only learn from my mistake. And believe me, I have. I have learnt the lesson, and to say the least, I think the mistake has made me who I am now. So I guess, everything does happens for a reason.

Watching Felicity has made me realise so many things too. We, human beings, all go through phases. There are times when we are down, there are times when we are up. As long as we have the people who we care about and care about us, we'll be fine. Because when we are down, they'll be there for us, and vice versa, when we are up, we'll be there for them. It's just great. There are many different ways of being there for someone too. I used to think the only way to be there for a friend is to talk and talk and talk, but guess what, I've learnt that simply saying that "I'm here if you want to talk" and giving them their space means a hell lot more than the gibberish that you just blabbered out without thinking.

Another thing that I've learn, is that it is great to have someone who believes in you, who believes in what you do. It makes a difference. It really does. Confidence really makes someone able to do the best they could. At the times where we lost our self confidence, having someone who believes in us, helps bring back our own confidence. Having someone to look our for us also means a lot. Basically, I guess what I'm trying to say is, we're social being. Human, simply suffered, without another human being.

There are so many other things that I've learn while watching Felicity... I can't put them in words. I suppose I'll just have to make sure that I've learnt my lesson and do whatever I can to improve myself. I'm grateful. Really am. For my loving family. For my dearest boyfriend. For my extraordinary best friends. For all the kind people I've met in my life. I might not have been the best I could to some people whom I've acquinted with, but I'm never gonna stop trying. Because once I stop trying, I will stop improving.

All in all, Felicity is a great TV series... I'm still up to 9th episode of Senior Year, but I seriously HIGHLY recommend it to everyone out there. Definitely worth watching. Especially when you're feeling lost, when you feel like you're uncertain with your steps in life...

- my grateful self on 9th November 2006 -

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