Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Life Pleasures Restrictions

Just a thought.

With my recent calorie intake restriction going so well, I've officially become a little 'confused'. It used to always be a seesaw of food vs money for me. Whenever I managed to lose weight, I go crazy with my shopping, putting my bank balance in trouble. Or, when clothes don't fit me nicely, I don't shop, and my bank balance is fixed, while my jeans get tighter.

I am proud to say that I think I am now healed from the shopaholic syndrome (the phases of de-cluttering and selling stuffs on Ebay really does put me off buying things unless I need or want them). Nowadays, food has started to present itself to me in a similar way, i.e. I question if I do really need or want them.

Naturally though, having been a splurge for as long as I can remember, from time to time I get the urge to splurge.

Now this is where it gets confusing for me. I just automatically held myself back. The thought of the impact of that splurge (both food and money) pops up. Thought of the amount of exercise I need to do stops me from over-eating and thought of the stuffs (clutters) that I've dumped to Salvation Army or Ebay stops me from buying things.

It feels wrong, yet right that nowadays I love and enjoy staying at home (mine or Shanon's), playing stupid PlayFirst games, watching TV series, reading the over-stacked magazines and books that I bought from like 2 years ago, de-cluttering and organizing things (physical objects or digital), or even just sorting out my recipes. Plus, I actually enjoy going to my peaceful (at the same time being full-on) Bikram Yoga classes.

Questions bubbling in my head...
Is this really me?
If not, how long will this last?
Am I over-restricting myself?
Am I living a lame life and becoming a bore?
Or maybe, I've actually grown (as a person) and become better?
Am I weird to be extremely reluctant to accept lunch/dinner or drink invites (excl. coming from close friends)?
Have I become obsessed with being in control (of food, things, money, links)?
Is this a bad thing or a good thing?
I guess only time will tell...

One thing for sure though, these pleasure restrictions have actually made me enjoy the pleasures more. I recently actually savoured the taste of one teaspoon of peanut butter. WOW - I can tell you it's superbly yummy! I'm now looking into doing my money splurge - not sure what yet - but I assure you, I'll make sure it is something that I will enjoy for a long time. :)

Thanks to these awesome read which inspire this post: ZenHabits' Enjoy Life Now, AND Save for Later; or, Why Delayed Gratification is a False Dichotomy || Dumb Little Man's 4 Signs That Your Hyperconsumerism is Ruining Your Life.

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