Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Hello, October!

*Bleh* I have overwhelming amount of bad thoughts and feelings in my body that I feel I would soon explode from it.
Those constant good and happy feelings that I've had for quite some time *poof* have all vanished.
I'm left behind with negative thoughts and wrongly nagging desire to change the people that I love.

But thankfully, I know better than that.
I have learned from past experience that the desire to change someone will only result in frustration & disappointment (sometimes plus resentment too) to both party.
No good thing will ever come out of it.

Gosh - I wish I have a reset button.

I just want to go back to the accepting feeling of the people that I love. (Ignorance IS bliss in this instance!)
I just want to go back to actually wanting to eat properly. (Nope, ignorance IS NOT bliss here.)
I just want to go back to those good and happy days. It wasn't that long ago!

Watching my food intake is not my concern at the moment, it is just a distraction from my main concern.

I need to learn to let go of things that are out of my control (e.g. the shape of relationships, loved ones' feelings or decisions).
Otherwise, it's going to be long hard windy road ahead.

*Sigh* I wrote this post hoping that it would make me feel better.
But, ranting in discreet mode doesn't give you the same satisfaction, does it? *Bleh*

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Like you said:"Happiness is on your own hand" =)
Try ur best!!!

ms s loveridge said...

thanks :)
i'm tryin!!! but i'll try harder!